


hobbit house

by swimnayeon



Category: IZONE, LOONA (Korea Band), NCT (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), TWICE (Band), Weki Meki (Band)
Genre: Crack Fic, Multi, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, and chaeyu, and woogyu, and yves being yeojin's mum, cursing, drug/alcohol abuse, lil bit of dodaeng, occasionally soft, shorties household, stoner!yoojung, use of potentially offensive slurs against short people, yeojin's just trying to not get her elders arrested, yoojung and jihoon have midget beef
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 00:23:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16106849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swimnayeon/pseuds/swimnayeon
Summary: the smaller you are, the closer you are to satanevidently, since jihoon's trying to run the midget household and yoojungs not having any of it





	1. ?

**Author's Note:**

> the characters personalities are in no way reflective of the real life people as i don't know jack shit about nako

“what the shit do you want?”  
“uhm, my name's im yeojin, im, uh, your new roommate”  
“ _SHIT_!”  
jihoon yelled, switching off the intercom.  
“NAKO, WE HAVE A PROBLEM”  
“WHAT IS IT?”  
“NEWBIE MIDGET!”  
“ _SHIT_!”  
and the sound of twelve shampoo bottles collapsing on top of nako echoed throughout the house.


	2. cornflakes and kush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeojin just wants some food

“do any of you smoke?”

  
chaeyoung, yoojung, ten, and nako all lazily threw a hand each up in the air.

  
“fucks sake”  
“what? you know we do, dumbass”  
“i thought you quit”  
“never”

  
clearly the majority were a hopeless case as they group fist bumped in succession, so jihoon moved on.

  
“is everyone here comfortable with smoking, drinking, cursing, and such in the house?”

when nobody shook their heads and he was about to settle it there, a slow hand of their youngest and newest member raised.  
“yeojin, you have an issue?”  
“no! no, i don't mind if you do, but, im not of legal age yet.”  
“so? just don't do anything illegal then”  
“that's my point, i want to do this stuff, but i always feel left out because I can't get my hands on it”

a shocked silence fell upon the household.  
until,

“don't worry, i’ll hook you up with that good sh-”  
“choi yoojung you dumbshit you're at enough risk of jail just by buying the damn stuff, don't rope a minor into this”  
“it's not like i offered her crack and hard liquor! just some kush and a bottle of cors”  
“zip it, choi”

she flipped jihoon off, who in turn scoffed and stuck his tongue out.

“we should be getting a call from our giants any time soon”  
“who's our giants?”  
“it's a nickname for our tallest friends, nako”  
“i don't want wonyoung to call! she's gonna try and mock the shit out of me”  
“im more worried about mingyu left in charge”

then, the phone rang.  
yoojung and jihoon made competitive eye contact, snarling slightly, before pouncing on the phone.

he wanted to be the first voice the giants heard, and she wanted to prove her power.

“I WANNA ANSWER IT”

“SHUT UP”

the pair tackled, the shorter girl tugged jihoons hair and jihoon bent her fingers back.

“guys”

they roared, flames igniting as jihoon managed to knee yoojung in the tit.

“YOU LITTLE BITCH”  
“GUYS”  
“hello? shorties, is everything okay?”

jihoons eyes softened, similar to his grip on yoojungs sweatshirt, at the calming sound of mingyu's voice spilling over the phone.  
yoojung let him go, allowing him to scramble up and grab the device

“gyu! hey! it's me, hoonie, we’re doing great! how about you giants over there?”

he lied through his teeth, but couldn't ignore the sight of yoojung fuming in the corner of his eye.  
quietly, yeojin stole away to the kitchen, since nobody had fed the poor kid since her arrival five hours ago.

“what? why? ugh, gyuuu, can’t i talk to you for a bit longer?”

jihoon pouted, even stomped his foot a little bit, but nonetheless shoved the phone in yoojungs direction.  
albeit with a reluctant grunt.

“what?”

“doyeon wants to talk to you.”

yoojung forgot about her beef with the older boy, yanking the phone from his grip with a beaming smile.

“WHADDUP U DODO ASS BITCH!”

she yelled in the most innocent voice musterable.

“i’m doing great! though jihoon’s being an absolute prick and won’t let me give the new kid some of the good good,”

with a little nod of her head jihoon could tell doyeon was only egging her on.

“i know right! it’s harmless! ugh, the kid’s eating dry cereal with her hands on the kitchen floor, she’s stoner enough already”

yeojin froze as all pairs of eyes went to her, her cheeks stuffed with dry cornflakes and a handful already on it’s way.  
yoojung chuckled.

“don’t think i didn’t clock you, hobbit”  
“can you even call her that, midget”  
“offensive! no, not you, do- hey what?!”

jihoon’s eyebrows shot up at her change of tone.

“but- uuuuggghhhh,, yyyyyeeeOOOJJIIIINN”

the maknae jumped, dropping the box and beginning to choke.

“dammit toddler that was our last box”

yoojung chucked her the phone, laughing evilly as she fumbled to catch it, crunching spilt cereal underneath her as she fell down.

but from the floor, she still managed to conduct a regular conversation.

“sooyoung? uhhhhhh, the older kids are great, they, uh,”

she looked up to see the piercing stares of ten, nako, yoojung, jihoon, and chaeyoung rested on her.

“they treat me really well! i promise!”

so far yeojin’s been called two nicknames that she took as offense, been ignored and not fed, snapped at, witnessed a fight break out, heard talk of illegal things and cursing, and that felt like just the tip of the iceberg for the beginning of her stay.  
but what else was she supposed to tell sooyoung?

“honest, they're great! what? no! no, of course there haven't been any fights, why do you ask?”

the girls skin drained of colour as she raised her eyes to look at yoojung, who was furiously texting someone.

“because yoojung told doyeon”

yeojin echoed sooyoung in a whisper, swallowing.

“im sorry for lying”

and as a lecture from sooyoung began, she handed the phone over to chaeyoung, who cocked an eyebrow.

“tut tut, naughty kid”

she said, but took the phone nonetheless and asked if sooyoung could put tzuyu on.

“tzu? are you okay? are they treating you gently over there? are you hurt? are you eating well? is it a-”

the sounds of tzuyu reassuring chaeyoung with a gentle giggle spread through the room due to the dangerously loud phone speakers.  
it was sweet, how chaeyoung was the one checking up on her giant, rather than the other way round.

“really? you tell that mingyu bastard to keep his eyes off of sooyoung, i know he’s got an eye for her”

yeojin worried a little about that.  
_she didn’t want her sooyoungie to get hurt because of any boy now_

  
“johnny? nah, he’s more interested in helping girls with their homework than anything, i’m not too fussed about that big baby”

ten scoffed at the mention of his hyung, rolling his eyes because of _course_ johnny would be the gentle giant everyone knew about.

“you already want to get rid of me? tsk, rude, but fine, put johnny on i guess”

chaeyoung held the phone up to the older boy of the household.

“yo, ben10, your turn”

and she shuffled off, slumping down beside yeojin, who’d returned to her box of half spilt cereal, and stuck her own hand in.

“how’s the human tree doing?”  
“uh huh? really? who’d’ve thought that a twenty three year old man offering to tutor a fourteen year old in chemistry wouldn’t come off creepy?”

the shorties clan laughed, and ten silently fist bumped yoojung.

“yeah, yeah, i get it, you just wanted to help, anyway, i’ve got to go now, love, the little’un made a mess of the kitchen and she’s fast asleep on the ground,”

he averted a fond eye to where yeojin had collapsed into a deep sleep, somehow a drowsy shadow of the panicky kid who was stuffing her cheeks with cornflakes minutes ago.

“i’ve gotta clean up”

ten smiled as he listened to johnny tell him about how wonyoung had dozed off at the kitchen table whilst on her phone, and something about how the younger generations must be so worn out by the education system these days.  
he only went along with it so johnny wouldn’t feel like he was rambling, since he’d grown up in thailand and had no idea if their school system was similar to the one in korea.  
then johnny suggested waking wonyoung up so she could talk to nako.

“hey, nako, johnny said he could wake up wonyo- nako?”

the smallest member seemed to have disappeared completely, and ten was about to leave it, but he spotted yoojung crawling out the window with a suspicious bag in her hands.

“yoojung, what the fuck”

she whipped her head back like a deer in headlights, then smirked.

“nako ran off at the mention of wonyoung talking to her, so i offered her a fag, and now we’re gonna go smoke weed on the roof,”

yoojung paused, thinking about how to end the sentence.

“when you’ve stopped drooling over that overgrown pansy, wanna come?”

ten considered it, but shook his head, mumbling a quick sweet goodbye to johnny and the rest of the giants, before hanging up completely.

“nah, can’t get high tonight, i gotta get some sleep before the studio”

“boo you and your dumb studio”

she sneered.  
although yoojung herself was known to be quite avidly involved in the dance scene, and did use her own studio just a few blocks away from ten’s, just it was always either in the middle of the night or early in the morning.  
still, she disappeared, and the sounds of giggling and lighters flicking slowly got further as the girls made their way to the roof.

“hey, mophead, carry miss cornflake stealer to bed, would you? i’m gonna clean up a bit then hit the hay.”

chaeyoung nodded, slinging yeojins two arms over her shoulders and rising with the little girl tucked into her waist.

“sometimes i wonder why it’s yoojung and not you who’s fighting jihoon to be in charge, you’d be great, like a real little mum”  
“watch it, tenny boy, or you’ll get a punch on the nose”

he merely chuckled and let her past.

“where’s yabuki and choi?”

apparently jihoon’s habit of calling people by their last names helped him feel in power.  
it was quite sad, actually, but they went along with it, since an angry jihoon was prone to elbowing you in places you shouldn’t be elbowed in.  
the shorter boy returned now, towel round one shoulder and damp hair forming patches on the shoulder of his grey tshirt.

“getting stoned”

jihoon simply scoffed.

“‘course they are, choi can’t go two minutes without the stuff”

that should’ve been worrying to them both, but yoojung was a tough cookie with a soft inside.  
if she could deal with a problem, she’d deal with it, if she couldn’t, she’d tell someone.  
and so far, she was doing pretty okay.

“anyway, how about the toddler and the ginger lesbian?”

“little’un’s out like a light, and mophead’s close”

ten quickly replied, bending down to scoop up crumbled cereal.

“welp, may as well follow suit, i’ve got some recordings to do tomorrow,”

he set his towel down on the table, pushing it towards ten.

“use that to mop up, and if nako and cracko get too loud up there just call them and tell them to shut up or come down, okay?”  
“okay.”

with a gentle smile and a pat on the back, jihoon began to walk off.

“night, tenny”  
“night, hoonie”


End file.
